For about the past six, maybe seven, years my husband and I have had humble, yet grand dreams. We want a homestead.
It seems this is a dream shared by many these days, as prices of everything keep going up and up, fossil fuels are being depleted and our usage of such energy has made global climate change threaten our very lifestyles (if not also our lives), and the norm in western society is based upon a disposable culture — disposable goods and relationships.
If one were to go by the plethora of blogs, YouTube channels, websites, forums, etc that are out there right now, it would seem that buying land and starting a homestead is a relatively common and easy thing to do. Sure, these individuals had to face their own struggles and came out on top in the end… But my question is: HOW??
How in the world did they manage it?
Were they…lucky? Better at finding good, reasonably priced land and managing the steps in order to get there?
My husband, Nathan, and I had (what we thought) was a good, comprehensive plan toward our ultimate goals. We researched, and researched, and researched. But then we jumped into a big (and expensive) project that we thought was a grand idea…at the time. Now, in the dead of winter (which is always a difficult time emotionally for us), we are questioning everything we have worked on and toward for the past year.
As we do more research into the particular laws that would affect us on our journey, we are finding that what we had originally planned, and already invested a great deal of time and money into, may simply not be possible.
If we were more financially fortunate, most of what we face would not be a problem. But that is not so. We are but a single-income family of four…which creates many restraints.
The realization that our dream may not become what we wanted, or that it may be dead altogether, is a striking realization that is difficult to handle.
Then again… Are we selfish and spoiled Americans to believe, to expect, that we deserve to have our dreams come true? Is it selfish and spoiled to want the kind of life we have been working toward? We are not searching for luxury — the exact opposite is true. We are going out of our way, in reality, to make things harder for ourselves so that we can live a life of principle.
So this begs the question…
Do we keep fighting against society? Do we surrender so we don’t wind up stressed and depressed all the time, trying to fight for our dream?
Or would surrendering end up making us all the more stressed and depressed?
What is best for our children?
They have dreamed right along side us this past year as we put things in motion… How could we look them in their beautiful blue eyes and tell them that we give up?
Thinking about all of this, I can’t help but say to myself: It shouldn’t be this hard… It shouldn’t be so hard to buy land, grow our own food, build our own house, produce our own goods and clothing… Here, in America – the Land of the Free, it should not be so hard to try to work toward a dream of freedom in the deepest respects and live a life of self-sustainability.
But that is how things seem at the moment.
I always thought, naively, there would be some way to make things happen. My optimism always won over feelings of despair. There must be a way…
Now I’m not so sure.