I think I need some help with centering and balancing my life and my emotions. Do any of you ever feel like that?
I stay at home with my children, all day everyday, and although it is an awesome job…it can be very taxing and stressful and irritating. Whenever I read blogs or articles from other moms that seem to have figured it all out and write these posts about loving the time with their children, I feel frustrated because I so often feel so far from where I should be as a mother. I mean, I’ve been doing it for 7 1/2 years now, shouldn’t I have mastered this gig?
I can just hear experienced mothers laughing hysterically at that last sentence.
I seriously thought I would have figured things out by now…I sincerely, and quite naively, thought I would have a handle on J.J.’s Autism and have him on the fast track to a “successful” life. Oh, how arrogant the human mind can be. I have a hard enough time caring for my own mind, body, heart…how on Earth can I expect to help another master their own human condition?
Therein lies the great challenge of motherhood.
We mothers (and fathers)… We imperfect beings are responsible for our children’s entire lives and well-being. What an awe-inspiring and equally intimidating challenge that is.
This brings me to the “Meditation Challenge”. I think, and hope, I could greatly benefit from meditation. I have been doing yoga for more than 10 years now, but have not yet given meditation a place in my life. I have thought about it so many times in my life, during good and bad times, but when I sit down to try it out…I find myself feeling so anxious I cannot sit for more than a few minutes and I wind up feeling worse from the sense of failure from not being about to “accomplish” a blissful state.
Now, I’m fully aware that looking at meditation as something to accomplish is not at all the way to go about it. So, perhaps, my first step would be to change my perceptions about meditation, about relaxation, about slowing down… Because I certainly have a difficult time with all of the above. When there is so much to be done every single day, every single moment… I have great difficulty calming my mind and just being in the moment.
So, starting today I will begin attempting to meditate every day for the rest of November. I will try to do some research on perspectives and techniques and see what works for me and I will try to share my findings at least once a week.
Do any of you have any experience with meditation? What works for you? How do you feel when you do it? I would love to hear any tips, tricks, challenges, and stories you would like to share. If you do not have any experience with meditation, maybe you can join me in this challenge and share your thoughts!